Birth Story: (really long, probably full of grammer errors=lack of sleep)
On Tuesday April 15th Trey and I woke up, ate breakfast and somehow I convienced him to weed our front yard, this was probably not a great idea for me since I was 9 months pregnant. However being me I helped weed anyway, I had a little side ache but nothing unusual to pregnancy pains. We weeded for about 2 hours when finally I needed a break. Later went to the home depot and bought flowers and such. My sister and her husband live in the basement so they helped with all that and I had to go teach 2 classes. I was totally dreading teaching them, I was so tired from the day. I participated in the first class and then practically sat the second class. It was about 8:20pm when I finally left the studio. I was too lazy to cook so I picked up panda express. I got home sat at the table with Trey hardly ate anything, after eating I sat down on my couch and realized I should probably shower. I stood up and all the sudden it felt like I peed myself. I started freaking out and ran to the bathroom and got in the tub. I yelled to trey that I thought my water broke.. he didn't believe me. Instead he "googled" it haha needless to say I was convinced I had broken my water and called the doctor. They told me that I needed to go to the hospital. I was so panicked I asked if I could shower first.... I was basically in a state of panic... it was too early and I still needed time to be ready. I hurried and showered and blew out of the house. Trey and I were so flustered we got lost on our way to the hospital.... which was only 10 minutes from our house but it took us about 25!
We got to the hospital, checked in and soon found out that my water did break.. I was in a state of shock.. I was freaking out. There was it no turning back now:) My water had broken but my body was not in labor.. (I was trying to go natural) so they told me I had 3 hours for my body to start having contractions and then they were going to put me on pitocin (which is someones worse nightmare who is trying to go unmedicated). Trey gave me a blessing and then I told him to try and get some rest while I prayed and waited for my body to go into labor.... about 2 in the morning I finally had to get on pitocin, and at this point I had gotten no sleep, and was already tired.... around 3 am my contractions started coming on strong. They were about 2 minutes apart, but I was only dialed to a 3. I was pretty miserable and couldn't wait for Trey's sister Brittney to get there (she was my doula), and of course Treys amazing mother flew in from palm springs. Everyone including my sister Christina all got there between 7-9 am and we were both so relieved. At this point I was in a lot of pain and my contractions were coming on pretty strong thanks to the pitocin, I continued to labor naturally for about 2 more hours, when finally they told me I could get off pitocin and see if my body would take over.. I was so happy because at this point I was exhausted. Sadly my body started slowing down my contractions unless I was walking around.. I was so tired mentally and physically I was one of the hardest things I had to do. Everyone was so great in helping me labor through contractions.. but finally after 9 hours of unmedicated labor they told me I would have to get back on pitocin.. I was heart broken.... my body just wouldn't do what it was supposed to do, I was defeated because I had been giving it all I had and was only dilated to a 3 still! After a huge meltdown, I finally decided to get the epidural, my body was exhausted and I just knew I didn't have anything else left to give and be able to go unmedicated with pitocin and still push the baby out. It was a really hard moment for me.. everyone was so supportive.. I felt like I had just quit.. but in reality that was not true. I had given my best shot and my body said no. Everyone was so happy with my decision.. even though I was in tears.
After I got the epidural it was about 3 or 4 pm and I tried to get some rest since I had basically been awake for almost 2 whole days. The room got a lot more relaxed and I was so much more comfortable. My sister Alison showed up about 7pm and at this point Trey and I were trying to rest while everyone else ate and watched movies. Now it was a waiting game.
Around 10:30 it was finally time to push, I was dilated to a 10 and it was go time, the babies heart rate at somewhat been dropping and I was rounding 24 hours of being in labor so we needed to get the baby out. Pushing was a little bit of a blurr to me.. I was so tired, I was almost falling asleep between pushes. Nothing else mattered to me besides getting that baby out. The room was full of people. Trey, Denise (his mom), Britney, Christina, Alison, my parents on FaceTime in Russia, Hannah--treys sister in Italy and 2 nurses and my amazing doctor.... quite the party. If I had been in my normal state I probably would have cared that so many people were starting at my vagina.. but at that point I didn't care! Everyone thought that I would have that baby out in no time.. but she had other plans. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours.. just watching her head come out a little then go back in (she had a big head) The clock was getting closer to midnight and Trey and I loved the idea that she would be both on April 16th an even number :) I just kept pushing and pushing and looking at the clock. Finally I just decided she was coming out, it was almost midnight.. I pushed and pushed and finally this amazing miracle happened after 27 hours of labor my baby girl was born at exactly midnight :) I instantly started crying everyone was cheering but all that mattered to me was getting my baby on my chest, she was crying, the nurses were drying her off and I just grabbed her... as soon as I got her on my chest she stopped crying. No words can explain how I felt in the moment. She was so calm and just stared at Trey who was right next to my head, and held my pinky finger with hers,We were the only people in the room as far as I was concerned.
Finally after a lot of crying, cheers, getting stitched up I had finally hit the most exhausted I'd ever been in my whole life. I could hardly stay awake at this point and could barley hold my new baby. Around 2 am we switched rooms and Trey convinced me to send our new baby to the nursery so we could get some rest. My head hit the pillow and I didn't even move, think, or dream until 6 am the next morning. The first thing I did when I woke up was call for my sweet new baby, I still couldn't get over the fact that she was mine.. not to mention how awesome it was not being pregnant anymore. Trey and I finally decided on a name that morning. Liv Taylor Leonard, I knew I would name her that I just needed to see her first. The hospital stay was very nice, the food was great and we had a lot of visitors, but by day two I was ready to get home and start our life with our lithe baby Liv.
A couple days after I was home my Dad who is in Russia on a mission sent me an email asking, "Now that you've had a baby, how do you describe it to those who don't" .... I had to think about this for awhile. You've probably read my earlier post about freaking out about being a mom and not being ready.. I was the girl who always said "no we are not having kids anytime soon". But once I held my daughter for the first time I forgot all of that. She is the only thing that matters in this world. Yes, my life is totally different and I miss somethings but I would never go back. It something you will never fully understand until you have your own baby, that includes adoption.
Having a baby is one of the most incredible/hardest experiences I've ever been through, I am so grateful for Trey.. he supported me so much and I couldn't have done it without him. I am in awe that heavenly father would send me down such a perfect little angel and let me be her mom. I love her, and I always will.. even when she is a teenager and hates me :)
I love my baby Liv. These last 5 weeks have been full of adjusting, little sleep, and looking like a zombie.. but its so worth it to wake up and see my beautiful baby everyday.
(more pictures/post to come)